Friday, August 01, 2008

Titans of their Industry

My boyfriend and I often have inspirational conversations and thus I'm am now turning to the internet in an attempt to compile a Celebrity Big Penis List. Celebrities, politicians, sports figures... anyone well known, really. I am looking for you to tell me the celebrities who you know to have or are rumoured to have a big penis. If you've seen a big celebrity penis in person, well then I insist you provide the details of your amazing celebrity wang story.

Why am I doing this? Well, for one: I love knowing things like this because I am a secret pervert, and two: I want to see how many people find my blog because of their google searches. I suspect I will get a few "Celebrity+Penis+Size+HUGE+List+Size Queen" hits on my sitemeter.

Now for my list:

  1. Ed Begley Jr.
  2. Tobey Maguire
  3. Tommy Lee
  4. Tommy Lee Jones
  5. Arsenio Hall
  6. James Woods
  7. Jim Nabors
  8. Owen Wilson
  9. Eddie Fisher
  10. Tom Jones
  11. David Bowie
  12. Mikhail Baryshnikov
  13. Donald Sutherland
  14. Lou Reed
  15. Paul Stanley
  16. Hugh Beaumont
  17. Bob Newhart
  18. Huey Lewis
  19. Vincent Price
  20. Billy Bob Thorton
  21. Robert Wagner
  22. Jimi Hendrix
  23. Ronald Reagan
  24. Milton Bearle
  25. Sean Connery
  26. Prince William
  27. Prince Harry
  28. Dean Winters
  29. Andrew Dice Clay
  30. Dan Rather
  31. Orson Wells
  32. Dolf Lundgren
  33. James Worthy
  34. David Letterman
  35. Harry Connick Jr.
  36. Tony Danza
  37. Willem Dafoe
  38. Steve McQueen
  39. Steve Martin
  40. Ralph Fiennes

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Going Stag

I went to the movies by myself yesterday. I found it refreshing, if for nothing else, the confusion it causes other people in the theatre.

My boyfriend is not in town right now and he mentioned several times that he was going to see the new Batman movie, opening weekend, no matter what. Knowing him and his big mouth (he is somewhat of a gossip) I knew he was going to spoil it. I was also feeling somewhat anti-social, so I decided to head to the movies myself.

I bought my ticket, got my drink and snack, and the 13 year old boy ripped my stub (that sounds both kinky and painful). I walked into the theatre, found a seat and sat down. There was a bunch of people in there, but I managed to find an empty section. As time went on and no other person came and sat next to me, I could hear people behind me whispering. "Seriously, is that chick here by herself?" "I would never go to the movies by myself." "That is so weird." I'm sure my smirk over this added to their confusion.

Best part of the whole thing? Whenever I go to the movies with someone else, inevitably some jerk comes by and sits right next to me. Even if the theatre is wide open. It makes me crazy. Sending me completely over the edge is when the boyfriend says, "Oh who cares where people sit? Just let it go and enjoy the movie." No! I can't let it go. Why on earth would you want to sit right next to someone when if you moved up or down one row, you would sit with room on all sides?

Problem solved when you go by yourself. The theatre filled up quickly, but I had at least six seats on either side of me, plus no one in front or behind. Being a weird loner girl strikes fear into people.

Long story, but Batman was excellent, but the satisfaction of knowing people were trying to figure me out was fabulous.

Friday, July 18, 2008

What I'm Doing This Summer

  1. Sitting under my fan reminiscing about the good old days of air conditioning.
  2. Learning American Sign Language.
  3. Watching Oprah.
  4. Hating my Environmental Poli-Sci class.
  5. Getting paranoid about the fate of the world because of my Environmental Poli-Sci class.
  6. Realizing that living with a couple instead of a single person is not fun.
  7. Not driving anywhere.
  8. Waging war against my absolutely terrible cell phone company.
  9. Looking for a new apartment.
  10. Attempting a little tan while avoiding sunburns.
  11. Slowly integrating a more vegetarian diet.
  12. Playing the lottery.
  13. Hoping to win the lottery.
  14. Being happy that I have only one more year of school.
  15. Making plans for after graduation.
  16. Summer patios and backyard BBQs.
  17. Watching terrible summer reruns.
  18. Wearing cute summer skirts.
  19. Eating raspberries.
  20. Maybe blogging more.